Say Goodbye...

As most everyone knows, Harland and I are no longer together. It was his decision, and even though I was devistated, I have not felt like he has been in love with me for a very long time and would love to be able to feel like the person I was with loved me whole heartedly and if he didn't feel that way then it is better that I know now. It was very hard for me at first, I actually don't think I've ever been more upset... but I feel like we both got closure today. We had a good talk about how he is basically emotionless, that he was deeply in love with me at one time but can't help the way he feels and that it wouldn't be fair to me to be with someone who didn't feel the same way. We both pretty much agree that he is not a relationship kind of person. Yes, this breaks my heart...but I've been dying for him to show me real affection for so long that it does make me happy to know that I will be able to be with someone eventually who does feel that way. Of corse, I would prefer that to be Brodie's daddy but I can't change the way he feels...all I can do is be on good terms with him for Brodie. These few weeks have shown me that I am able to survive this and that this is probobly for the best. I hate that Brodie has to split his time between us-- but Harland and I decided to be great friends bc we still love each other, it just doesn't make sense for us to be together anymore. We will still be able to hang out together with Brodie which makes me very happy. While we were talking, I felt like he was my best friend again, and that I could completely be myself and talk to him about anything. My friend Jordan was watching Brodie while we talked, and heard us and said she was very proud of how we are handling the situation...and so am I. He said that if I needed anything, he would always be here for me. He also said he would pay my bills at my apartment...and of course pay child support.
I have been living with my AMAZING friend Jordan who, without her, I wouldn't have been able to get by. I plan to get my own apartment very soon and so is Harland--- we will probobly live very close for Brodie's sake. I am taking classes online so that I can get my life in order and I am stopping at nothing to get a job this week. Can't wait to start my new life and I can't wait to find out what's in store! You never know what is just around the corner...

This will be my last post from Brittany, Billy, and Brodie...thank you all for following our journey, but it's definitely not the end...of mine.